For some women, using vibrators for sexual pleasure can seem second nature. They treat using a vibrator as a necessity in order to climax. However, there’s a very large group of women who have never even used a vibrator before. In fact, only 53% of American women between the ages of 18-60 say they use a vibrator according to an Indiana University study.
Masturbation and sexual wellness are unfortunately still considered taboo topics in our society but the tides are slowly turning. As shows like The Sex Lives of College Girls and Minx gain popularity, conversations about masturbation, for women in particular, are slowly starting to become more mainstream.
So, is this your first foray with a vibrator? Are you feeling a little nervous, embarrassed, or even intimidated about using it? Don’t be! We’ve put together a guide to help you better understand, and enjoy, masturbating with your vibrator.
Vibrators: more reliable than any penis.
The first thing to note is that vibrators are more reliable than penises, or dildos for that matter, when it comes to climaxing for women. In fact, only about 18% of women can orgasm from penetration alone. Vibrators can jump-start arousal, and can quickly curate intense orgasms, which can be particularly beneficial for women who are busy, stressed, tired, or have trouble with low libido.
Get to know your vibrator. Schedule some one-on-one time.
Start with the basics, read your vibrator’s instruction manual. Learn how to turn it on and off, check whether or not it’s waterproof, understand how to charge it, and learn about it’s different intensity and vibration pattern settings. To help get yourself in the mood, find some alone time in the bedroom, or in your shower, turn on a sexy playlist, think about a sexual fantasy, or, if you feel comfortable, you can watch porn or listen to audio porn. Relax and take your time exploring your body with your vibrator. You can start by turning it on and slowly grazing it across sensitive areas, like your nipples, your inner thighs, or even your neck, to get used to the sensation. If it has different intensity levels or vibration patterns, try them out. Don’t focus on whether or not you orgasm the first time you play with your vibrator, just focus on getting used to the sensation on your body – but hey, if you end up having an orgasm while doing that, consider it a bonus!
Vibrator, meet genitals.
Once you’ve set aside some time to understand and explore your vibrator, you can move onto the main attraction: your genitals. For vulva owners, you might want to start with stimulating your lips, or labia, or just your clitoral hood instead of heading straight for the clitoris. For penis-owners, try focusing on your scrotum or frenulum before moving the shaft or the head. Try searching for new, or more intense, sensations instead of focusing on finding sensations you’re familiar with. Just be gentle at first to help you understand whether or not you enjoy a certain intensity or location.
Discover your own pleasure.
There’s no right or wrong way to experience pleasure when using your vibrator. Some people enjoy using a vibrator near the edges of their clitoris instead of placing it directly on it, others are more sensitive on one side of their body than the other, or by moving into different positions, and so on and so forth. It’s all about what pleases you.
Use your vibrator solo, or in tandem with other sex toys.
Once you feel comfortable masturbating with your vibrator, feel free to use other sex toys, stimulating lubricants, or just your hands or fingers if they enhance your experience. Everyone is different, some people prefer to stick to just the vibrator while others enjoy. Pro tip: if the vibrator is getting too intense as you get close to climaxing, place it over your underwear or put a blanket between yourself and your vibrator.
Be present, take your time.
Don’t be hard on yourself if it takes you a little time to climax, or if you don’t always climax when masturbating with a vibrator. Some people enjoy tease and denial in their sex play. Just focus on what feels good and stay in the moment. It can be easy to let our minds wander, especially when it seems like we have 100 different things to do and places to be, but masturbation is a form of self-care and it can significantly improve your overall mental and physical health.
Masturbation is self-care.
As we mentioned, masturbation is a form of self-care. In fact, regular masturbation can reduce stress, improve sleep, improve self-esteem and body image, relieve menstrual cramps, and much more!
Other vibrator tips to keep in mind:
- Vibrators don’t have to be for only solo play, use your vibrator with a partner if you feel comfortable!
- Make sure you keep your vibrator clean. After every use, clean your vibrator with soap and water to prevent bacteria build up that could lead to infections.
- Keep that baby charged. If you’re using a rechargeable vibrator, make sure it’s plugged in for a while prior to use – there’s no worse feeling than your vibrator dying right before you’re about to climax.
- Make sure your vibrator is waterproof before you take it into your shower or bathtub.
- Consider buying a Freya razor/vibrator for discreet, convenient use. It’s rechargeable, and can last for up to 2 hours of continuous use. It’s also waterproof, has six different vibration patterns, and is “curvinomically-designed” to fit perfectly in your hand and hit juuuuust the right spot. Plus, it doubles as a razor that gives a close, smooth shave. Freya is designed with safety in mind, you simply twist and pull off the razor head to use the vibrator and access its on/off button.